Okay, let’s be real – whoever designed the Crunch-Off minigame in FF7 Rebirth is secretly a sadist. But hey, at least there are cool rewards, right? Here’s my personal guide to beating this ab-crunching nightmare and getting that sweet Champion Belt.
Opponent | Difficulty | Score to Beat | Reward |
---|---|---|---|
Amina | Warm-Up | 16 | Celeris x3 |
Ronnie | Trainee | 20 | Supernatural Wristguards |
Jay | Amateur | 22 | Chakra Materia (★★★) |
Jules | Pro | 50 | Champion Belt |
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Rhythm, Not Speed
First thing first: forget about being fast. You need to be perfect. Those onscreen buttons that show you the sequence? They disappear later on, so you need to memorize the pattern and get the rhythm down.
Here are the two sequences you’ll see:
- Sequence 1: R1 -> L1 -> L2 -> R2
- Sequence 2: L1 -> R1 -> R2 -> L2
It’ll switch between these, so decide which button you want to start on and stick with it, restarting if necessary.
Special Buttons
- Golden Ring: This means MASH THAT BUTTON.
- Green Ring: Hold the button halfway down until the circle fills, then press it all the way. Think of it like a two-step trigger pull.
Tifa vs. the World
Even the all-powerful Tifa gets tired sometimes, so don’t panic if she slows down for a second. Also, tempting as it may be, DO NOT look at her (ahem…for gameplay reasons, of course!). She goes super fast, and honestly, it throws off your focus. Just stare at that top corner where the buttons are and zone in.
Crunch-Off: Your Ab Workout from the Underworld
Let’s be honest – Jules designed this minigame after making a deal with some kind of fitness demon. But hey, the rewards are nice, so let’s break down how to survive these early rounds:
Warm-Up: Meet Amina
Amina seems sweet, but don’t let her fool you – she’s here to make you sweat. To beat her score of 16, you need to get into the rhythm. The buttons will either start with R1 or L1 and alternate – memorize which one YOU start with!
Now, about that glowing yellow button… This means MASH IT. It’s the first taste of the special mechanics that make this minigame evil. If you mess up, don’t panic – just restart the round.
Trainee Round: Ronnie Introduces the ‘Hold’
Ronnie ups the challenge. He’ll always hit 20, so you need a perfect 21. This round introduces the green glowing button, which means HOLD, then PRESS. Think of it like a super-slow two-step button press. Don’t rush it, or Tifa will faceplant. You’ll need to deal with both the yellow “mash” button and the green “hold” button in this round – double-check the color before reacting!
Amateur Round: Jay and the Button Shuffle
Jay is here to mess with your muscle memory. His score is 22, but the main challenge is that the button sequence changes! It might flip to starting with L1 instead of R1. Pay attention and take a practice attempt or two just to get used to the new pattern.
Pro Level: Facing Jules, Master of Sit-Ups
Jules, the big guy himself, steps up for the final challenge. This is where the minigame combines ALL the special button mechanics: the yellow “mash”, the green “hold”, and of course, that randomized button pattern. To make it worse, Jules barely messes up. He’s aiming for 50 reps, so you need a near-flawless 51+ to beat him.
Here’s the trick – after about 20 reps, things speed up to a ridiculous level. At this point, you can ditch perfect timing and just MASH those buttons as fast as possible. Watch out for the yellow and green specials, though – one mistake and it’s over.
Don’t try to speed up after the special buttons, just get back into your rhythm. Focus purely on where the special buttons pop up – ignore your score and Jules. If those triggers are killing your hands, try remapping the controls to something easier for you. Disable Adaptive Triggers, this is a personal preference, but I turned them off – felt less resistant for both mashing and the half-press.
Rewards
Honestly, it’s sometimes hard to remember why we put ourselves through this when our thumbs are aching. But hey, the prizes ARE worth it:
- Warm-Up: Celeris (healing items, always useful)
- Trainee: Supernatural Wristguards (nice defensive accessory early on)
- Amateur: Chakra Materia (more magic = more options!)
- Pro: The Champion Belt. This bad boy gives you a hefty HP boost and extra Strength. Absolutely worth the pain.
Don’t get discouraged if you need to restart a bunch at first. Everyone struggles with this minigame – persistence is key!
Final Words
Let’s be real – Jules probably isn’t even human. He’s probably some kind of super-soldier experiment gone wrong, fueled by protein shakes and spite. Don’t get down on yourself if you fail repeatedly. This minigame requires serious dedication. And hey, if you do manage to beat Jules, you’ve officially earned some serious bragging rights.
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